Dear God,
I’m so sorry.

I’ve let You down. (Again…)

How is it possible to forget who I am in You after everything we’ve been through?

Why is it that this hill in particular is shaking my faith more than the last valley?

If it takes everything in me, I won’t let this break me.

The enemy may attack my body and mind, but he cannot have my heart.


Forever Yours,




I’m Amber Stewart. 28 years old, approximately 26 years longer than any doctor ever believed I’d live (and counting!).

I have gone through things that you can’t imagine – things I wouldn’t wish upon anyone – and God has carried me through miraculously every single time.

I’m strong.

I have my own nonprofit organization. I love helping others.

I have like, four college degrees. And I want another.

I have the most amazing family anyone could ever have. I’m serious.

I have an amazing life.

And yet, the doctor had to take me off some of my regular medication for two weeks because I’ve been taking some crazy sensitive antibiotic (which I’m not entirely sure even worked), and WHAM! There you are, Devil

Add to that the fact that there is so much sickness going around I haven’t left my home in weeks, and Houston, we have a problem.

It’s like when I’m not fighting for my life, my mind slows down enough for Satan to move right on in, flipping my world upside down.

Suddenly I’m not at all content my life. I’m struggling even more than usual with caregivers. I have separation anxiety when my parents leave for a typical work day. I don’t like anything or mostly anyone. I am officially ready for Jesus to return and take us all Home together, and I’m waiting very impatiently.

It doesn’t take much to knock me off my feet and make me forget my purpose in this life.

How did I let that happen?
I don’t even know how I got here. Yet here I am, making the decision to get back up allow God to use me; for that is when my spirit truly soars.

Life is hard. God is good. Choose joy.

2 thoughts on “Choose

  1. Amber my sweet friend. Your honesty and willingness to be an open book brings me to tears. Many years ago I came to care for you as a paid caregiver, but it is you who cares for me. So many times you point me back to Jesus with your openness, honesty and pure love for Jesus. Love you- Jesus Freak❤️ Someday you will see all those you have encouraged and pointed to Jesus.

    Liked by 1 person

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