If you saw someone trying to drown themselves, wouldn’t you try to save them?

You drag them to shore and begin CPR. No pulse.

Minutes pass that seem like hours. You pound, scream, give one more breath…

Their eyes open. They’re alive! They look around. But then…

They spit on you and jump back in the water.


I meet a lot of people in my daily life as a result of living with a serious disease. It’s not easy to maintain my health, but I try to make the best of it and many times I’ve actually made new friends. I have come to love one lady who I see often. She’s fun, we joke around, and she is truly interested in helping me.

She’s also a Buddhist. And what blows my mind is that she was raised in a Christian home.

We’ve had two in-depth conversations regarding religion, and I fear I may have pushed too far. She is completely closed off to hearing anything about God and His goodness. She wants nothing to do with Him and it breaks my heart in ways I can’t explain.

It’s like I have the secret to life and I want so desperately to share it with EVERYONE… But some don’t want it. I don’t understand.

“You have the most beautiful soul” she says. Right, so, don’t you want what I have? I don’t understand.

“It’s not OK, the whole sending people to Hell thing”, she says… But, it isn’t God’s will that anyone should perish. I don’t understand.

“Don’t worry about my soul” she said. But I do worry. It consumes my thoughts. I worry because I love her and there’s a living God who could make her more fulfilled than Buddha ever could.

She says she’s happy but I see the pain in her eyes. Let me help you, I want to scream! Yet she turns and runs back to that water.

I wish I could help everyone, but I can’t. I’m just one girl. My only hope is that this dark world sees an unwavering light in me that they want for themselves.


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