What if the greatest power in this world isn’t found in governments or violence or even religion, but in living in constant communication with the unseen God of the universe?
When people know that I talk to God, they think that’s sweet. When I tell them He talks back, they think I’m crazy. But He does. All the time. Is that weird? I’ve known His voice for as far back as I can remember. I was raised in an Evangelical Christian home with a core believe that prayer is powerful. My father has been a Southern Gospel singer my entire life and I learned songs with messages like “when you don’t feel like praying, pray” and “I’ve never said a prayer He couldn’t answer.” I was encouraged to be a mountain mover and I have moved so many mountains through faith. When I have had mysterious health problems throughout life, church family and my Pastor have prayed over me and say what want but it helps. If there was ever someone who believed in the power of prayer, it’s me.
And it has saved my life too many times to count.
When a nurse put my trach in upside down.
When an aid dropped me in the floor (while in the hoyer lift – don’t ask).
Or that one little heart attack-ish scare.
Or nights like yesterday.
Life is so fragile. Please cherish it. So many would give anything to be in your shoes and it could always be worse. Did you know that most living individuals with Spinal Muscular Atrophy type 1 can’t speak or hold their bladder/bowels (TMI?) like I can? They just lay there, unable to move or speak, trapped inside their healthy mind. I have to work with caregivers who don’t always take the time to listen to me and on the hard days it’s its own kind of Hell. Your life is not as bad as Satan would like you to believe. I promise.
Yesterday was awesome! Seriously. I made three art sales, met a fellow (very talented) artist, spent time with a dear friend, and drank good coffee, all while sharing Jesus. This is what I live for!
I should have known that I’d done made that old Devil mad again. He came knocking with reinforcements, ready for a battle.
It was late. I’d been out all day and hadn’t eaten anything, and I’m a very slow eater. I don’t sleep good at night anyway so it’s whatever. After that and night neb treatment it was past midnight. I was all ready for bed, I only had to be transferred via hoyer lift to the bathroom and finally to bed. No problem, until my series of unfortunate events began. It started when the portable ventilator decided to fall of the lift and come disconnected. Then one piece got lost and my nurse couldn’t put everything back together fast enough. Thankfully she went and pulled my stationary ventilator in just as I was just on the verge of losing consciousness. Imagine drowning and finally coming up for air. I feel like my entire body convulses. Everything hurts. It takes time to rebound from an experience like that. What matters is I was safe, up until she went to transfer me to bed. That was when the stationary ventilator came disconnected in three different places. Both vents are down and I’m hanging in this evil machine that literally squeezes the air out of me. Game over. I need air. Someone help me please! Is this the end? Is it my time to leave this world? Right before everything went back I distinctly heard that lovely voice of God whisper I brought you this far, I won’t leave you now. Then I went somewhere else. I don’t know where, but I’ve been there before. It’s peaceful. And then God said “wake up now.” I came to in my bed with my father standing over me, pumping air into my lungs with an emergency ambu bag. Poor Momma was so upset she was sick. Then the sheer panic of what had just happened hit me like a 100lb weight. I cried, they held me, and we prayed.
I thank God daily for giving me such amazing parents. I thank God they were home and heard the nurse screaming for help. I thank God for the many people who pray for me every day without asking anything of me or seeing God answering their prayers. But believe me when I tell you that God hears every single prayer presented on my behalf. Thank you.
Don’t be shy. Boldly approach the throne of God in reverence and humility and present your requests. He listens.